How Creating Lasting Love

1. Treat a relationship as a transaction When it comes to love, you can't be calculating. Counting who did what for whom leads to the death of generosity. Theoretically, there is a hidden universal law that governs human relationships, namely: When you stop giving, you stop receiving. And when the law is like that, we mustn't stop giving or the relationship dies. So if you're calculating, you'll count to a point where you'll say yes, that's enough. I've given my fair share. Now it is your turn. But your partner may not feel it's their turn just yet. So don't count. Keep giving generously And your partner will love you back when the time is right,                                               2. Not being patient or sensitive enough, Relationships are tricky because human emotions are tricky. You can bring the strongest of relationships to its knees with a single fight. You don't even have to do it in person; going by phone. You can end a good relationship with words that hurt, no meeting required. So if you value your relationship, never bust your top. Your partner deserves your best behavior. And the more love you put into them, the more they will love you for it.                                                                                                                  3. Idealistic Demands Some people are more idealistic than others. They have a vision in their minds of how they want their ideal partner to be and they will not compromise. Usually in life, the partners we end up with do not meet [satisfy, fit, suit] our original criteria. Maybe she doesnt have the perfect figure or maybe hes not exactly Prince Charming. But in the end we still choose this person. Why so? It,s because our criteria [condition] have changed. By living long enough, you see different [various, several] kinds [types] of people. And you will start [begin] editing your criteria [condition] of what you want in a partner, circling those qualities which are important, and mentally scratching out those which are not. So if a person has a list of rigid, uncompromising qualities that they follow to the dot, they might just kick out the partner that was right for them. If it were that easy to form a lasting relationship, our divorce rates would be lower. Even if people don't fall into the three traps listed above, there are other problems such as: B. Opportunity to meet someone more attractive (high chance). What should you do in such a case? Here's a principle to guide you: A great love relationship isn't something you find, it's something you build and commit to. There are countless beautiful people in the world and many who are more physically attractive than your partner. For some people, the grass is always greener on the other side. So what are they doing? They jump onto the neighboring lawn! But then the lawn doesn't seem so green because they see the weeds of the person's personality. But it looks like there's a greener lawn next door, so they're hopping again! In search of the greenest lawn, they make their partner hop, date, and exchange ideas, but they will never find him, because a beautiful relationship, like a beautiful garden, needs nurturing. You can be forever happy with the partner you choose, but you have to commit to it. Nothing lasts without commitment. To keep love going, two people have to choose each other. If one of the partners is defaulting or insecure, the whole relationship falls apart. It doesn't matter how much you love the other person if they don't love you back. This reminds me of those Chinese drama series where they like to say Ai Qing Shi Bu Neng Mian Qiang De                                                                              (*A non-binding partner*)                                                                     Sometimes you may find that your partner doesn't want to commit, even though you are willing to commit. You may be looking for the ideal person who can fulfill your whims and fantasies, an idealistic vision of what a lover should be. Many people believe that they can hold on to their partner and make them stay. But that is not true. If your partner wants to leave, he will. A lover is not an inanimate object that cannot be held on to. They are free will people with their own dreams and ideals. What you can do is realize that each person seeks their own happiness. Sometimes it can be with you, sometimes not. And if you still care about that person, the best you can do is allow them to follow their dreams. Gracefully step aside and wish them well. The right partner will come for you one day.                                      (*Case Study – “Mr X" )                                                                     Last week we spoke to Mr X about his hopes of winning over a girl who already has a boyfriend. Let's turn this week and talk about what it's like to be the person about to lose your partner. A reader wrote in relation to Mr X's case. She suggests that we put ourselves in the friend's shoes and see if we like someone who is trying to destroy our happiness. The reader suggests that Mr. X should take an altruistic approach, where he's happy that the girl he loves is happy and well taken care of. I didn't want to agree (an urge to protect my client), but after serious consideration, I gave in because the reader is right. The easiest way for Mr. Y to be happy is to realize that he cares about the girl even though she chose to be with someone else. In a way, Mr. X is a martyr who sacrifices his desire to be with her for her happiness. Can a man do that when he loves a woman? I'm sure he could, but I doubt she would even notice his victim                                                                                                                                                                              (.Dagger in heart)                                                                  Mr X said he felt a pang of pain in his heart when he learned that the woman he loved had recently found a boyfriend. I said I understand that sharp pain. Anyone who has been close to losing a romantic partner has felt that sharp, stabbing pain. If you haven't, then you haven't loved with all your heart. The more you love a person; The more you care about him or her, the greater the feeling of getting stabbed in the heart when he or she betrays or betrays your love. Although the normal reaction to being left is to go ballistic and tell your lover what a piece of junk he is, your heart feels like a knife cut it through. That heartbreak is there because there is love buried beneath your anger. When our partner betrays our love, there are two immediate feelings, the part that feels betrayed and the part that still cares. On the one hand, we hate them for hurting us, and we want to hurt them too. On the other hand, we still have feelings for them, so just the thought of a breakup hurts our soul. So what you need to realize is that the deep pang you feel in your heart is not the pain of rejection, but the pain of trying to hate someone you love. It's only when you can admit that you still care and stop hating her that the two parts dissolve and become one. The pain goes away If you want to find an ideal partner, you must first BE an ideal partner. Give your partner first class treatment, be infinitely patient, loving and giving. This doesn't mean that you don't resolve differences, but that you do so in a calm and gentle way. Don't be calculating when giving. Give with all your heart and trust that your partner will appreciate the love you give. They'll give it back to you when you least expect it. Realize that some of your demands are idealistic and unnecessary, drop them or change them. And finally, strive to become the best you can be in mind, body and spirit; socially, financially and emotionally because the better you become as a person, the better you will attract a partner.                                                                                                                   ( Good luck and may you build the love life of your dreams.)