I received this quote today and want to share it with you. You may find that it has to do with your marriage. "The difficulty in marriage is that we are in love with someone, but we have to live with the character." - Peter Devries We can only appreciate the depth of this statement if we understand what CHARACTER means. “Personality” is easy to understand.
Your “personality” is the way people feel about you. Your public. But what is a "character"? And why is the “character” so important in your marriage? A character is what you are when no one is watching you. Let me say that again so you can read it a little bit and really digest this.
A character is what you are when no one is watching you. You see, when you and your spouse get together, you meet each other's PERSONALITY. You showed your spouse and you showed your spouse your people in public. I'm not saying you cheated. Just your personality ... the way you express yourself to others.
But marriage lasts a long time in the immediate vicinity for anyone to be able to support social dignity. Personality eventually releases INNER SELF which was first revealed. And when you stand individually, you are as bare as if no one was watching.
But someone is watching. And that's when you first met ... again! You and your spouse will not always meet the person who made each other happy, bought gifts for each other's parents, and always smiled from ear to ear. No, this is a meeting for your CHARACTERS. In most cases, it is not just that you are meeting for the first time, but that you are meeting YOU for the first time.
Most people would not be caught dead treating anyone the way they treat their spouse. Most people do not see their behavior. "It's not just me and him." So who is that? THAT'S YOU ... your character. (And your partner meets their character.) The reason so many people fail in marriage and the effort to rebuild a marriage is NOT that they do not love their spouse.
It is that they do not like THEM. And while everyone else in their lives is like a mirror that reflects their personality; their partner is a mirror reflecting their character. And many people do not like what they see. Most people prefer to live with someone else rather than with their spouse and should continue to do so. (Did you get that?) Balthasar Gracian wrote in his 17th-century treatise The Art of Worldly Wisdom: “He is a real person with a deep sense of identity.
Like the depth of a diamond, the interior is twice as important as the top. There are people all over the facade, like a house left unfinished when money runs out. They have the entrance to the palace but the inside rooms of the toilet. ” The renewal of the marriage and the development of each character go hand in hand. If you want to improve one, work on the other. Would you like more advice? Sign up for my FREE marriage help email service.
More than 75,000 each year sign up for a free report entitled “7 Secrets of Getting Married to Your Marriage.” This advice alone will begin to change your marriage. You will also find 5 free wedding reviews and more information about Marital Fitness with Mort Fertel. No strings attached. You can register for free by visiting www.MarriageMax.com.
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