One of the things I have noticed today in society is that everyone has a problem with reality. I do not mean that we are always lying, but we are always afraid to hurt the feelings of another person or to get involved in some kind of argument with the person we are talking to or, better yet, the person we are living with. Sometimes we worry about how someone responds to us, so we bend the truth or stare trying to find out what that person wants to hear. It really starts to be a problem in personal relationships when couples are afraid to make their wishes known out of fear of separation or divorce.
People can have a real problem at work, where the manager may be concerned about an employee's reaction to a negative performance test; in education, the teacher may be concerned about the student's or parent's response and may be able to easily give marks that do not match the student's performance. When I was in high school, my counselor called me into his office and gave me my marks. He said, “What do you want to do when you finish high school?” I told him that I did not know, and then, thinking that I should tell him something that was not true — that I wanted to be a liquor dealer, I told him I wanted to be a lawyer. “Attorney,” he said, pointing to my marks, “These are not attorney marks.
If I were you, I would think of doing something else. ” I left his office, and I did not feel upset at all. I did not even think about going home and telling my father that my mentor said I was not smart enough to be a lawyer. I have never said a word to my father. You know what? The boy had actually told me the truth, and the truth set me free. I started to look at my skills honestly, and I was able to accept the fact that I had not worked hard in my studies during my first three years of high school.
I started to think seriously about my future. My counselor made me look in the mirror, and I agreed with my skills and attitude. He told me the truth, and I appreciated that. However, in 1977 my father sold the bar, and I became a teacher that same year. I really enjoyed teaching. I was a special teacher. Many of my students had academic or moral problems. In fact, my students used to have very bad morals at school and could come to me some days. However, I developed a relationship with the kids, and things always seemed to go well for me. As I progressed in my career, I realized that things were changing. I was expected to tolerate more behavioral problems, and everyone was giving me excuses for the child’s misconduct.
The catchy phrase that seemed so popular 20 years ago was, I really like this kid, but I don't like his behavior. Was this true? I do not think so. Is it really possible to love someone and not love them? The fact is that we do not like people because of their behavior, and people need to be informed of this in a considerate way. Man is his character, and both are inseparable. I can give you the names of famous people in the community for a complete deviation, and tell me if you like, but not their behavior. Let's try Charles Manson, Scott Peterson, Jeffrey, or even Adolph Hitler. Is there anyone who does not like their behavior, but loves them as human beings? No, we do not like times. Our perception of a person depends on his behavior.
The fact is that if the behavior is not favorable, we are unlikely to like that person. People need to know that if their behavior does not change, it means that others will not want to build meaningful relationships with them, and in the end, they will not like them. A student recently came into my office (I worked as a part-time principal) and started talking to me about what he wanted to do after graduating from high school. He wanted to be a doctor, That's a big goal for a young person. I asked him what he had found in his SAT. You told me you got about 400 points in each category. I thought in my mind that the total is 800 points in each section, and the best points are about 650 to 700.
I knew something right away; he could not be my doctor. I went on to produce his marks and found that his mathematical and scientific marks were C and D. I really wanted to answer the same question that my mentor asked me. Do these look like doctor's grades? But, based on the traditions and customs of the community, I could not ask that question. I immediately directed this student to the requirements for admission to the colleges they have in their pre-med program, and finally to medical school.
He found the truth on his own, and he came back to me and thanked me for helping him see that his reading skills needed to be developed and that he needed to pick up and retake college boards. The truth made him aware of his own weaknesses and how hard he had to work to achieve his goals. The public seems to want to withhold the truth and make everyone believe that they are right even if their behavior is wrong. Society makes everyone believe that they are more intelligent than they are and that their behavior is caused by circumstances, environment, or lack of treatment or medication. Being realistic about my abilities and the way I work helped me to be more efficient and helped me choose the right career and helped me understand how I needed to improve my career.
Later, instead of wandering from one job to another without success, I worked hard at college, high school, and later as a worker. So the next time your kids come home and say their teacher told them they have to work hard, or their job is not acceptable, or that their behavior is unacceptable, or they'd better consider going to a regional college rather than going to Dartmouth, thank you for that. Pastor for doing that
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