News that a child in an autistic family is often associated with many reactions. While all family members, even more so, can be supportive in a good world, the sad reality is that many are disgusted or disappointed.
Is a family member constantly scolding a child with autism?
Do you misjudge your autistic child?
Does this family member insist on treating your autistic child the same way he or she treats all other children in your family, even when it is wrong? These are signs that this relative is no longer accepting your child with autism or status.
This may be the case when you find out that a child has autism, so as a parent, be aware and prepare for this to happen. Often, unresponsive relatives simply do not understand what autism is or what it means to your child and your immediate family. Although many see autism as a mental disability, many children and adults with autism are very intelligent; they just can't communicate this in the same way others would.
Try to explain what autism means to this family member, and spend time with you and your child with autism. Let them see the effects of autism and the ways you can deal with it.
If a family member continues to disagree with you or rejects your explanation, ask why this family member does not accept the situation. Are they afraid of harming the child?
Are they worried about the extra responsibility they spend with the child?
Maybe they feel guilty or ashamed. If you can point out why a family member does not accept, you can better fix the problem and hopefully help him overcome his initial thoughts. Perhaps no discussion or spending time together will help this family member overcome his or her prejudice.
Once this person has made their decision, you will never be able to show them how good your son or daughter is - autism and everything. If so, getting rid of this person in your life may be difficult, but it will also expose you and your child to the negative energy and personality of this family member. In this growing situation, you need the best support available.
Remember that other family members have been supportive; that your children are changing well and are a source of strength for you. Strengthen your support network by participating in parent support groups for children with disabilities. And remember that you can go around with those who accept and love your child’s family or not.
They say your ancestors are inside you. Even genetics. That’s fine and good if your family history research reveals philanthropists and saints - you know, George Washington or Gandhi. You are proud to tell people that Benjamin Franklin's blood flows in your veins (meaning you are bound to the same size your ancestor found). However, from time to time you find on Anestest.com.com or search for old regional records and find that you are the offspring of less popular characters: drunks, women lovers, or lunatics.
Then the suggestion to have these scary ancestors swim in your genetic code is very disturbing. Here's how one of our family stories goes. An Irishman traveled to the Hawaiian Islands in the late 1800s and married and married a young widow, the owner of a large mall on the north coast of Oahu. She had several children with him.
A few years later, he made a shady agreement with the owner of a ship full of rum: his wife's land of the ship. He gave up his wife's inheritance because of his love of alcohol and sailed away in his new boat, leaving his wife and children to fend for themselves.
Oh, and have I ever said that the world lives a few miles from the Turtle Bay resort? We could be millionaires, Rockefeller, in the islands! Well, maybe not, but knowing that the DNA of a drunken Irishman is part of my sequence disturbs me. It makes me think: Has my genetic makeup been contaminated by his presence in my family tree? Did he somehow convey his reckless ways to me? I think it all depends on your philosophy. If you believe that people, to a large extent, are acting in harmony with the conditions given to them by their ancestors, you should be concerned.
Either that, or hopefully there is George Washington there to balance things out. However, if you believe that, of all the genetic hodgepodge we have at birth, our choices determine our future, I think you are right (unless you choose to sell your property on a rum shop and leave your family empty.).
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