Everyone in the world has felt this feeling at one point or another. Especially at this time, with the rapid technological development, the feeling of loneliness is increasing rapidly. First, we need to clarify what we mean by loneliness.
Loneliness is an emotional state. It is a state where people experience a deep sense of disconnection and emptiness from those around them, rendering the current company around them meaningless.
That person may be in a large crowd or alone, married or single, young or old. They basically find it very difficult to connect with others and experience detachment from meaningful relationships. This should not be confused with being alone. Being alone does not equate to being alone because sometimes one is better off being alone, and sometimes it can be very refreshing as one has the opportunity to refresh, heal and rediscover our lives.
If you are reading this book, what are the common symptoms of being alone? I bet you are feeling one of these symptoms.
You think your problems are so unique that other people don't understand them. As a result, you feel like other people in the world have friends and you don't.
You feel extremely self-conscious about everything you do. You feel that when you do something wrong, you are extremely embarrassed. When you're in a crowd, you feel drowned out by their voices. You feel disconnected from the crowd even when you are with them, feeling shy and afraid of others. Feeling anxious and sad Believing no one knows how sad/isolated you losing your ability to feel "invisible". Refusing to accept change and unwilling to try something new. Feeling like nothing else matters and having suicidal thoughts.
People feel that way because we are all unique and different. There is no one in the entire universe who has the same personality, thoughts, lifestyle and needs as you. None! Not even twins! How can anyone fulfill all those needs to satisfy each person?There is a quote from the Bible that if I try to remove the speck from my neighbor's eye, I must first remove the plank from my own eye so that I can see clearly before I try to remove the speck from his eye.
By realizing that other people are not obligated to meet our needs, we somehow learn to expect less from others and this reduces the pain, because we stop expecting too much from others! We learn to accept them better and judge others less so that this becomes the first step in healing loneliness - giving others slack! Remember that we are the sum of the five people we spend most of our time with. If you're hanging out with a crowd that's negative and always makes you feel down, it's no wonder why you're lonely and negative. It is no wonder that children move away from negative parents in their homes or stop hanging out with a certain group of friends. Don't let poison drain your energy.
The feeling of loneliness is fundamentally due to man's failure to love others. Loneliness symptoms magnetize the effects of pain to such an extent that it strengthens the focus and creates a self-absorption that hinders loving others.
This illustrates that we are only thinking about ourselves. It shows the world in which we live, full of terrible suffering. Moreover, the pain goes like a stomach ache. The so-called midlife crisis, is now turning into a 'young adult' crisis, with suicide rates hitting the roof and most of the world's illnesses today being mentally induced or cured in psychiatric wards.
The basis of trust between people is diminishing, and less and fewer people are opening up to each other. When you fail to open up to others, symptoms of loneliness arise because other people won't open up to you if you don't open up to others first. It is said that if you want to be surrounded by friends, first be friends with others.
You may admire that person because he looks good, you may worship that person because you think he is good, you may even sacrifice your life for him for your selfish, self-satisfied ego, but what you do is not love.
Love is a verb. This is a task. The feeling of 'love' is actually a product of karma or action. By loving yourself first, it forms the base or foundation by which you love others, without which it is only a baseless act of self-deception that appears to be loving.
If we try to fill the void with our loneliness by seeking love from others, we will inevitably find no comfort but only deep desolation. In other words, if we look for the love we need, we will never find it.
If a person does not seek to receive love, but instead wants to let it flow without strings attached, he will become unlovable and eventually others will surely love him. We need to stop worrying about ourselves and start worrying about others. Starting with the end in mind—one that focuses on the outcome of the act of loving others without concern for self-gain—is the first step to achieving love and alleviating the pain of loneliness.
Deciding to love others is like a donation with no strings attached (we don't expect anything in return, not even a gratified ego or a release from guilt), not a barter trade. When we ask others, "What have you done for me?" We failed to love.
If at first you are able to love little, you will be loved little. That same love empowers you to grow and produce more love and receive greater love from others in return. But always remember that during this self-donation or self-sacrifice, our mind must always be focused away from us, otherwise it will not work.
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