Sujith Kumar

Self-respect can be challenging to practice if you are a people-pleaser. The fear of saying no can keep you stuck in a cycle of neglecting your needs and giving into things that don’t serve you. When we let others take advantage of us, we chip away at our self-esteem, which leads to more anxiety, less interpersonal effectiveness and deteriorates our self-respect. Even those of us who practice interpersonal effectiveness find ourselves in situations that can prompt us to give away our self-respect. Just the other day, I noticed that I was about to let someone take advantage of me. It was likely a mistake (I’m sure she didn’t do this on purpose), but the woman checking me out overcharged me for an item. I wanted to just walk out and say “forget it,” but I knew I would feel worse when I got home. I didn’t want to regret paying too much and risk losing some self-respect, so I told her that I think there was a mistake and I asked her nicely to change the price. She apologized, and I walked out feeling stronger than before. This may sound like a simple example, but the truth is, each time you stand up for what’s fair, you respect yourself. When others take advantage of you, it can do one of three things: (1) trigger anger which may lead to aggressive outbursts or internal anger at yourself (and them); (2) feelings of hopelessness and reinforcing the false belief that you don’t deserve respect; or (3) prompt you to feel a sense of ownership and help you act assertively. The third, will help you develop a strong self-esteem and more self-respect, it takes practice but often leads to beautiful results.