We’ve all heard the saying, live each day as if it were your last, but it can be so hard to put into practice, especially when you have work to do, and you don’t have time to just relax.
Sometimes you have to look back on your life and wonder what you could have done differently — perhaps there are things you wish you hadn’t done or said, or things you wish you would have done more of. Here are eight things people regret at the end of their lives.
1. I wish I didn’t work so hard
Here’s an interesting finding from a recent report by Merrill Lynch: More than a third of Americans surveyed said they wish they hadn’t worked so hard. Working too hard can be a problem that leads to stress, burnout, and exhaustion — all things people say they regret later in life.
When looking back on your life, what are you most proud of? Are you proud of how much time you spent at work or how many promotions you received? If not, then it might be time to make some changes.
Try to work smarter — not harder — to achieve success in your professional and personal life while still finding time for yourself. You deserve it!
On their deathbeds, people don’t regret having worked hard — but they do wish they had spent more time living. A new study suggests that although individuals think about working for roughly eight hours per day.
(at home, at school, or in the workplace), less than 10 percent of these thoughts are positive. Instead, negative thoughts such as I should have worked harder, and I wish I was more successful in my career are common.
Time is our most precious resource, and there’s a lot of pressure to be successful in what we do. But sometimes, people don’t stop to appreciate that being busy isn’t always productive.
If you regret wasting time at work and want to make sure that doesn’t happen again, then set a timer for every hour you work — then use those 60 minutes purposefully.
2. I wish I stayed in touch with my friends
This came from every male patient that I nursed, said Pulse. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners.
All the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence. It— A powerful quote that captures a sense of universality, rather than simply detailing one man’s experience.
We should see more stats and personal stories like these throughout to capture different voices and cultures. It also should be fleshed out more into proper quotes — where did you learn about all these people?
It’s very common to lose touch with friends. But as people grow older, they often regret not keeping in touch with old pals.
Make sure you keep in regular contact with your friends and family members, no matter how far away they are or how often you see them. After all, you never know what tomorrow will bring.
There’s something wonderful about having a friendship that goes back decades, or even just years. But sometimes as time passes, people lose touch with one another — and once it’s too late to rectify that, they wish they hadn’t.
Don’t let that happen to you; stay in touch with your friends and let them know how much you care about them because life is short and once it’s over you might regret what could have been.
3. I wish I let myself be happier
Whether you look at it from a religious, scientific, or philosophical perspective, regret is an unavoidable part of life. There’s no way to predict how long we’ll live or how our lives will turn out.
But there are steps you can take to make sure you let yourself be happier, rather than dwelling on what could have been or dwelling on what you think should have been.
If things in your life don’t feel as good as they could, now is always a great time to start making changes — so that by your deathbed, it will be hard for you to say I wish I let myself be happier. 8 Examples
A common regret was not being happy. My biggest regret is that I didn’t allow myself to be happier. I was a workaholic, and never took vacations or made time for my kids, which I regret more than anything else. — Wanda A. Evans
It’s said that people regret what they didn’t do more than what they did, and a big part of that is not letting themselves be happier. A study from Harvard University found that negative feelings about life were linked to a higher risk of death among older people.
And in another study published in Psychosomatic Medicine, people who felt positive emotions had a 50 percent lower risk of dying within three years than those who felt neutral or negative emotions.
So if you have something to smile about, go ahead — it could help you live longer.
4. I wish I ate healthier
Did you know that more than 70% of people say they wish they ate healthier during their life? That’s why I recommend planning a few healthy meals every week and taking time to exercise on a regular basis.
The best time to plan is when you’re feeling motivated, so if you have any health goals in mind, it might be a good idea to start brainstorming.
For example, if you want to spend less time in restaurants, write down your favorite healthy recipes and make a plan for cooking them each week.
If you want to get fit, go through your local community center’s schedule and pick out some classes that look fun — and join them!
According to a recent study, many people wished they had eaten healthier. In fact, a whopping 90% of subjects said that if they could do it all over again, they would start eating healthy when they were younger.
Luckily for them (and you!), improving your diet can not only reduce your risk for disease and heart problems, but also help you lose weight. As a result, you’ll feel more energetic overall, boosting your mood and making it easier to stick with healthier choices in general.
It’s never too late to start eating healthier. Small changes can have a big impact. Try switching from regular mayonnaise to light mayo, or swap butter for olive oil. You’ll cut your saturated fat and calorie intake without sacrificing flavor.
5. I wish I lived abroad
In a recent survey, 61% of respondents said they’d regret not having lived abroad. A few less popular answers to our question included: I wish I had been brave enough to have children, and I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.
Many people cite their fear of failure as a reason they regret not trying something new or leaving behind familiar surroundings. At 38%, that was an even more common response than wishing they had traveled more.
What do you think? Is there anything you wish you had done differently? More than 45% of respondents to a 2011 Gallup poll regretted not having lived or worked abroad.
If your dream is to live and work in another country, consider getting out now before you have kids or a family. It might seem impossible to pack up and move when you’re in your 20s, but it’s easier (and less expensive) than it will be later in life.
Studies have shown that if you want to increase your chances of happiness in life, one way is to spend time living abroad. Living abroad helps expose you to new cultures and gives you a chance to become more well-rounded.
When you return home, you’ll appreciate life at home even more than before. If there’s a country you’ve always wanted to visit, make sure it makes it onto your travel bucket list.
6. I wish I had the courage to express my true self
According to Bonnie Ware, a palliative care nurse who spent many years working with dying patients, most people — regardless of age or health — are filled with regrets.
We all want to be loved and accepted by others, but it seems we’re our own worst enemies when it comes to fighting for love in our lives. All of us have times when we act stupidly, and hurt ourselves and others with words or actions.
Get caught up in habits that are difficult to break, and rely on false hopes or dreams rather than looking reality in the eye. Many regrets not having had enough courage to express their true self instead of living a life filled with lies and deceptions.
What do people regret? You guessed it: being afraid to live a life true to themselves. Sure, you might be worried about what others think, but if you aren’t happy with who you are and what you’re doing with your life, then that is more important than social acceptance.
Express yourself in whatever way makes you feel happiest — from dance classes to music practice to volunteering with animals — and show off your authentic self!
A good question to ask yourself is What do you want your legacy to be?. It sounds lofty, but it’s not.
7. I wish I stayed in touch with family members more often
Although it’s nice to be on your own and do what you want when you want, people often say they regret not staying in touch with family members more often.
Regardless of how many children you have or how close they are to you, there’s nothing wrong with picking up a phone every once in a while and calling them just to check in. Chances are they would appreciate it very much.
A study from Columbia University’s Mailman School of Public Health and Stanford University published in a 2010 issue of Archives of Internal Medicine found that people who maintain close relationships with family members have a 43 percent reduced risk for early mortality — meaning an early death.
By comparison, maintaining close relationships with friends was associated with a 29 percent reduced risk. Stay in touch more often by calling your mom regularly or setting up an annual coffee date with your brother.
Doing so could potentially save your life — which, after all, is something you’ll regret if you don’t do it while you can.
What do people regret at the end of their lives? To find out, researchers interviewed terminally ill patients. Family relationships were a top-five regret. Now’s a good time to make amends before it’s too late. Call your grandma and tell her you to love her!
8. I wish that worked less and played more
For many people, it’s too late to change their work ethic once they’re already in their 50s or 60s. But there are plenty of things you can do now to make sure you end up spending more time doing what you want in life.
Life is not a dress rehearsal: Make an effort to take your days off — if not on weekends, then during vacation time. Life is too short not to spend every moment with friends and family that you can.
We spend a good chunk of our lives working, but is it all worth it? According to Bonnie Ware, who wrote an obituary for hundreds of people as a palliative care nurse, there are several things we may want to consider before pushing on through those last days.
One of my favorite quotes is from F. Scott Fitzgerald, who said, The test of first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function.
When it comes to something as important as working or playing, I think we should lean toward playing more than working.
I’m not suggesting that people quit their jobs, but if you work long hours every day and never have time for what really matters, you’re likely going to regret it when your life is over.
Do something about it today by leaving work a little early one day a week; play with your kids in their soccer game, pick up a hobby like golf or learn how to cook.
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