Affectionate mother talking to son at home
Questions don't stop racing as soon as your child leaves for their date. In fact, you've probably thought of five more by the time they've made it to the car. That means that when your child comes home from a date, you're going to have a million questions.
Was it fun? What did you eat? Did you get dessert?
Know that your child may not want to answer all of these questions. If your teen seems like they don't want to talk about their date, use every ounce of willpower you have to respect that. Your child will most likely share with you the important parts when they are ready. Over time, your child will build more trust with you, and they may be open to answering more questions. In the meantime, some things you may want to talk about are:
Why you want to know how their date went
How you have a lot of questions that you want to be able to ask, but don't want to overwhelm your child or invade their privacy
Compromise on a number for the amount of questions you can ask after a date or what they can be about
Explain how you want to develop a close relationship with your child where they trust you and feel comfortable sharing that information
6. Your Teen Must Remember Priorities
When your teen starts dating, you may notice a shift in their priorities. It's normal for them to want to hang out with their partner every chance they get. Going out on movie dates and heading to the bowling alley is a lot more fun than doing homework or keeping up with chores. That being said, you may want to discuss priorities and establish other helpful ground rules with your child. Some of these may include:
How many days/nights a week your teen can hang out with their partner
Whether you want a certain amount of homework to be completed beforehand
If there should be a curfew put in place
Whether you need to know in advance if your child is planning on hanging out with their significant other or if day-of dates are okay
How to handle your child potentially missing out on family activities/holidays
What to do if your child's grades start slipping or if they start to blow off extracurricular obligations in order to hang out with their partner
7. There Are Extra Safety Rules With New Partners
If your teen is dating for the first time or is meeting up with someone that they met online, then there may be more baseline safety rules that you want to put in place. These don't have to be forever rules for your family. However, if their date is with someone that they might not actually know as well as they think they do, these rules may be beneficial in ensuring your child's safety. Some first-time or online partner rules may be:
Encourage your teen to meet in a public place
Have them take friends/double date
Ask your child to share their location with you during the date
Have them text you at a certain time to check-in
Ask to see a picture of the person they are meeting up with
Drop them off at the date/have them drive there themselves instead of getting picked up by their date
Revisiting and Reconsidering Traditional Teen Dating Rules
If you don't know what big topics you want to discuss with your child, that's okay. You can still visit traditional dating rules and use them to have conversations with your child. Remember, talking about these as topics, instead of laying them out as rules, is more likely to make your child feel understood and feel like you trust them. Some traditional dating rules you may want to discuss are:
No going out on dates during school nights
No dating until your teen has reached a certain age
There are strict age limits on dating partners
There needs to be a parent present during hangouts
The door must be open when your teen is hanging out alone with a date in your home
A curfew must be put in place
Partners are not allowed over at the house past a certain time
Group dates are allowed, but one-on-one dates are not.
To Be Continue Next Part - 5
You must be logged in to post a comment.