Ah, teen dating. An awkward, beautiful, yet stressful, and potentially chaotic rite of passage. As a parent, you may have been telling yourself for years that you need to prepare for the moment that your child is ready to go on their first date. Well, the doorbell is ringing, and it might be time for you to talk to your child about establishing some teen dating rules.
Some parents are throwing the old teen dating rulebook out the window and opting to have conversations with their children about important topics revolving around teen dating instead of setting hard and fast rules. Talking to your child about these topics will help you come to a better understanding with your teen about your mutual expectations surrounding their dating life.
First, Explain to Your Child Why You Are Having This Conversation
Before you come in and lay out your own personal set of rules that you hope your child will follow without question, you may want to start the conversation by explaining to your child that you are setting rules that are meant to keep them safe. Remind them that, although it may be difficult for them to imagine, you were a teen once too, and you may have even gone on a date or two at the time.
Empathize
After you remind your teen that you were once subject to the difficulty and wonderment that is teen dating, you may also need to remind yourself. Do you remember what it was like when your family was all too interested in your dating life? It can be embarrassing and stressful for teens to talk about liking someone with their parents, let alone to hear rules that they think parents are setting up because they don't trust them. Lead with your love for them and desire to keep them protected. Remember, this is equally difficult for them as it is for you.
Try to Relax
If you're more of a traditional parent, take a deep breath. First, know that having conversations with your child about topics does not mean that you can't/shouldn't establish dating rules for your child.
However, it does mean that you can work together with your child to create rules as a team that are reasonable and fair to both of you. This will allow you to tell your child what is important to you, and you will get to know what is important to them as well.
Next, Establish Teen Dating Rules and Talk About the Big Topics
By having conversations about topics instead of just listing out rules, it may make your child more likely to actually follow them. Think about what it was like when someone gave you rules as a kid and told you to follow them just because they said so. It probably didn't feel great, and you most likely didn't have the same amount of respect for those rules as you would have if they approached it differently. Teens (and just about everyone) like having a sense of autonomy in their lives. There are many 'big topics' you may want to cover with your child in order to help establish some teen dating rules.
1. Decide on an Appropriate Age Your Teen Can Start Dating
When is a good age for teenagers to start dating? Should they wait to start dating in high school? What about if the teen is really more like a 'tween'? Should they be allowed to go on dates alone or only with groups? As a parent, all of these questions are probably flooding your mind. And for good reason. You want to make sure that your teen is emotionally ready for a relationship, and, of course, you want to keep them safe.
At the end of the day, all teenagers are different. They have different levels of maturity, understanding, emotional intelligence... everything. Research shows that the average age for girls to start dating is 12 and a half, while the average age for boys is 13 and a half. Just because this is the average, you don't have to abide by it. Some factors you may want to consider when establishing an appropriate age for your teen to start dating are:
2. Your Teen's Relationship Should Be Healthy
Even though you may really wish you could play matchmaker and choose your child's partner, that isn't always how it works. You can't control who your teen ends up falling for, but you can do your best to help guide them. One way of doing this is by teaching them about what they should look for in a partner, as well as any red flags that may be cause for concern. Talk about respect, empathy, kindness, and any other aspects of healthy relationships you hope for them to experience with a partner.
To Be Continue Next Part-2
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