Research suggests we’re having less S E X , and that the S E X we are having is less than satisfactory. We asked 10 women to share just how important a role S E X plays in their relationships.
Despite S E X having numerous benefits, from increasing both confidence and mood, to reducing stress levels and strengthening the intimacy between partners. The last year’s figures from market research and data analytics firm YouGov revealed that on average only 27% of the population have S E X in any given week.
The research also indicates intercourse satisfaction levels in the UK have decreased, with only a third of adults now satisfied with their S E X lives, compared to just under half in 2015 and 2014.
And we can’t blame the pandemic either, because even before coronavirus disrupted our lives, we were already well and truly in the midst of a intercourse recession. If we’re really doing it less (and maybe enjoying it less too), we got curious about how important S E X really is to those who are coupled up in 2021. Here, we talk to 10 women about the role of S E X in their lives.
Lovemaking : women reveal how they really feel and share their best intercoure
Bethany, 31
The importance of S E X has changed dramatically over the 13 years I’ve been with my now fiancé. In the beginning we had S E X every time we saw each other, and then about every other day when we started living together in year five of our relationship. Now we have two children and I’m just not interested in S E X at all, partly because I’m a lot less attracted to my partner after all these years together, but mainly because I have begun to resent him.
This resentment has led me to using S E X as somewhat of a bargaining chip and a way to hold power over him in the only way I know how. It’s not that we have a bad relationship per se but despite my warnings that he needs to step up I don’t get any support in parenting our children or in maintaining the home.
Using S E X as a means of getting what I want doesn’t feel good, but when I withhold it from him and use it as a reward for helping me, I at least get the assistance I need. If I had it my way I just wouldn’t have S E X at all, but the system I now have means I’m often eking it out to every three weeks. I know it can’t carry on this way, but there is going to have to be some major changes on his part before S E X becomes important to me in the way that it once was.
“I’m just not interested in S E X at all”
Hannah, 38
“I never realised how important S E X was in my marriage until after having my first child two years ago. Like most mothers, life got a little overwhelming. As I tried to juggle being back at my high-pressured role at a hedge fund with being a new mum, and spouse – which for me includes a certain amount of societal pressure to be the perfect Middle Eastern wife – I soon found that being a caretaker for everyone else meant I came last on my list of priorities. Eating well, exercising, getting enough sleep, and socialising went out the window.
As I started to lose sight of myself and feel uncomfortable with my appearance, the thought of being physical with my husband filled me with dread. So, we went from being intimate with each other every couple of days to around twice a month and our relationship drastically changed. The spark between us had been well and truly doused and it was like living with a best friend.
My husband never broached the topic or pressured me but slowly the day-to-day physical affection that I loved left our relationship too and with it the fun light flirty side of our marriage. That’s when I realised how important S E X really is in our relationship for both of us, but I knew that to get what we had back, I had to get back to myself and make myself a priority. That sometimes means spending time alone, or with friends, and even doing less around the house. But the more regular S E X we have the more we’ve been able to get back the light, fun and flirty part of our relationship that we both enjoy.”
“I’ve actually benefited from being in a relationship where S E X and BDSM has played such an important role”
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